IF YOU ARE UNWILLING OR UNABLE TO PERFORM THE REQUIRED TASKS FOR THAT SEAT PLEASE MOVE!!

Hey kids, I'm back from Paris and finally able to take a break from all the piled up work I had waiting for me. Paris was wonderful...and I don't think one can really know what it's like until you go (I know that's really lame and I'm sure you're like whatever bitch spill, but it really can't be described). It's wonderfully cliche with it's busy Parisians, delicious bakeries, and snobby pigeons (yes even the damn birds snub you). The buildings almost knock the breath out of you (even the ones in Pigalle, who would have thought sex shops could be so chic?). I have decided instead of going on and on about all the details of my trip I would make a list of things I loved, hated, and wish I would have done.

1. Da Bread! If your ass loves carbs as much as mine does then there is no further explanation needed. It was great and I miss it already.

2. The Metro. We have nothing like it here at home and I loved how I didn't' have to drive anywhere and worry about having gas in the tank. It was great. They take you everywhere and it's so cheap!

3. How everyone (including non homosexual males) wear scarves. Everyone does! I have never seen more scarves in my entire life and I loved looking at everyones. I never realized how many different kinds there were and how you can almost tell how a person is by their scarf.

4. Love/Hated the Euro. The dollar sucks my right funky lookin pinkie toe. Exchanging money was no fun, but the actual money looked really cool. And I thought it was funny how they used commas instead of decimal points.

5. Walking. I actually really liked it (yes it made me tired and my ankles are still pissed at me) but I really enjoyed strolling around and being able to walk to places instead of drive. Americans need to walk more...maybe if we did we all wouldn't be a bunch of big fatty boom ba latties!

6. Marlene's shower. (hated it) Sorry girl, but 2 minutes of hot water for the whole day and no holder to put the shower head on really sucked. However it all makes for great stories and I wouldn't have traded it even for a room at the Ritz!

7. The French's version of a Latino Bar. (LoVeD iT!) We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, but let's just put it like this...All male waiters, spanky shorts (more like underwear) and nothing else, sleazy cocktail menu, item on menu roughly translated as the Server's Sperm, bras hanging from ceiling, crazy lights, and one horny DJ. Need I say more?

8. Marlene's blatant use of the word fuck (and varying forms of) in public and around her grandparents! Direct quote..."you can say fuck, mother fuckers whatever, they don't know what you're saying!"

9. The french Party! (loved it) It was so much fun beating all the french kids at their own drinking game. We got to make rules and I got the first one which happened to be that no one could speak French without taking a drink! Cha ching! Now we could understand what everyone was saying and even if we couldn't a beer lashing was in store.

10. The Eiffel Tower. I got to see it during the day and at night...it was awesome! However, climbing up 400 stairs just to get to the first floor was a little too close to a buns of steal workout. Wish we would have gone all the way up!

11. Stupid pink Paris umbrella. No Rhianna you can't stand under my umbrella ella ella eey, because it's turned inside out and in the trash can of the Metro. Stupid made in China crappy umbrella + rain and wind= wet and unhappy Bridget.

12. Notre Dame. Way cool. I swear I could see 'ol Quazi Moto swinging from the bells as they chimed. I'm Catholic so it was like given an ADHD kid free roam of a candy store.

13. Euro Disney. Wish we would have gone. Marlene's friend was kind enough to score us some sweet Vip tickets and we didn't go. Boo! Only regret of the trip.

Overall the trip was great and I can't wait to go back. Hopefully next time the drummer will come along and we'll be able to go to Marlene's home in South of France when it's warm! Until then I'm just about out of vacation days so my pictures and memories of Paris will have to last me until next January!

Just a Blondes Take
Bridget

I'M BETTY CROCKER THE BAKE ROCKER

So I love to bake! And Actually I'm pretty darn good at it. However on the opposite end of the spectrum I'm a terrible microwaver (if there is such a thing). I'm like Betty Crocker with an oven and like Jim Carry in Dumb and Dumber with a microwave oven. I have set butter on fire (damn foil wrapping), burnt popcorn til it was unrecognizable (what? you're not supposed to put it in for 5 minutes and then leave it?), and managed to overcook and under cook a lean cuisine all at the same time! Maybe I should consider myself talented and not stupid when it comes to microwaving!? I mean how many people do you know that can screw up nuking stuff that badly? I definitely didn't get my microwaving skills from my dad, or lack of. He used to microwave us everything! If it couldn't be microwaved or poured from a box we didn't eat it! I'll NEVER forget his famous green chicken. Tyson Chicken breast with poultry seasoning on top (that's the green part) nuked on high for however many minutes and you've got yourself me and my siblings our dinner every other night of the week! Don't forget the all important mixed frozen veggies that of course got zapped as well. And don't kid yourself thinking there was any kind of seasoning or spices put on them. Dad's motto seemed to be the more bland the better. My dad could even make scrambled eggs in the old micro! Not that they were the most appetizing looking things, but I guess we lived and I'm here reasonably healthy! So last night I'm baking some ever some yummy blueberry muffins for my boss's birthday today! I've got the batter in the muffin tin and I'm about to sprinkle the strussel topping on when I lick me fingers (yeah I was going to wash them before I touched anything else). G-ROSS! I forgot the sugar!! Instead of muffins they were blueberry biscuits. So I had to scoop the tins out and put the batter back in the bowl so I could put the sugar in! It was almost a disaster, but being the savvy baker I am I saved the day and they turned out great! I was scared for a minute...I mean I could have been stripped of my title: Bridget Betty Crocker the Bake Rocker! That's why any good baker knows you gotta lick your fingers! Right?

Just a Blondes Take
Bridget

THE CITY OF LIGHTS

That's right I'm going to PARIS (and I'm not talking about the one in Texas) Those Parisians aren't gonna know what hit them. But in all seriousness I'm on freak out mode just a little. We leave in a week and a half and I've yet to find/get some luggage to haul all my goodies in. And since I have been in stress mode a lovely super chic cold sore has taken up residence on the corner of my mouth (don't worry this Blonde got some meds, so we should be good)! And as long as I don't leave my tickets, passport, money, and all other important trip stuff locked away at my work again I should be ok (yeah, I'll share that story). Aside from all of that I'm really looking forward to spending time with some of my best friends! Marlene is being the most gracious hostess and letting me and Deb crash at her place (gotta love free lodging). Along with playing hostess Marlene is going to be our tour guide, our cabbie and our translator. She's my French sister and I love her to the fucking moon and back (hope I don't offend, I only cuss b/c Marlene loves English cuss words). Anywho, I can't wait to soak in everything France has to offer...the markets, the bread, the men (oui, oui), and of course the sites. Paris is going to be this photographer's heaven (I only wish I had a more professional camera. Oh well, I guess a real photag doesn't need one right?). I've already started to mentally pack (Deb knows, she does it too...I'm not the only OCD one) and from the looks of my mental suitcase I have nothing to wear!! I'm so nervous about what to wear...will everyone think I look totally out of style and silly. I hope I don't look like a tourist...all I can see in my mind is some huge balding guy with a button up Hawaiian shirt, shorts, white socks with brown loafers and camera around his neck!

I really don't know how I found a picture of the exact man I described...I swear I didn't find the picture first!! Anyway, I am way pumped and I can't wait to share all my stories with you when I get back...now for those of you wondering what I was talking about when I mentioned leaving all my travel vitals at work here you go:

So me and Deb went on a cruise about a year ago for our friends wedding. I have my ticket book, passport everything I need in a nice neatly labeled (Deb!) folder in my desk at work. We were leaving on a Sunday. Saturday I get up and me and Deb are talking and packing when I realize I have left everything I need for the trip in my stupid neatly labeled folder AT WORK!! Well, I work at a bank and we aren't open past noon on Saturday and of course it was after noon! I rush up to work to find everyone gone! So I call my boss (no answer, go figure he has a life on the weekend) I call another co-worker/friend and get her password and code to get in and shut off the alarm (of course I can't remember my own) So I rush up to work and never having had to turn the alarm off and on I set the alarm OFF! Oh yeah, I did...I'm trying to retype my friends password over and over hoping it will work...No it doesn't so now the key pad is flashing red and more alarms are being set off by me running around like a chicken with it's head cut off freaking out and not knowing what to do (I did contemplate sitting on the back steps to wait for the police so they wouldn't storm in with guns blazing). But then I heard a phone ringing and being the ever clever girl that I am I remember that the security company tries to call in case it's a false alarm. So I dash across the bank picking up every phone I can (of course it's the last phone on the teller line and I had to slide across the sit down area to get to it). I answer out of breath and the man on the other end asks me if everything is ok? I go into my story about leaving everything for my trip at work and my code didn't work, gave him the id number my friend gave me (Thank God that was right!) And he gave me enough time to get my stuff and head out! I'm sure the security tapes are pretty funny to watch (of which I'm still trying to get and destroy, don't need that being shown at the Christmas party). I immediately call my friend to inform her that her code sucks and doesn't work in case she ever needs to go to work after hours (wouldn't want her to experience the same mental breakdown I did). So you can bet that this time I'm bringing my neatly labeled Paris Trip folder with me...BEFORE I leave for the weekend (b/c we are again leaving on a Sunday)! I really don't think I could forget again, I mean after all the torture I experienced the first time (ummm...Debbie please remind me to get my folder of stuff on Friday before we leave).

Just a blonde's take

Bridget

INSPIRATION

I have recently found inspiration from a friend of mine...aahem Debbie...to start a blog of my own. She has like 10 so surely I can handle managing one (note hints of scarcasim). So here it is love it or hate it! And for all of you crazy English majors out there let's just get somthing clear from the start, I suck at spelling and puncuation and I know it so there's no need to point it out...I know there's probably all kinds of things way wrong with my blog but my lack of skill in this area is something I've accepted. You should too. If your wondering where the title for my blog came from it was also inspired, no not by Debbie, but by my dad. He loves the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind (for all you non science fiction geeks it's basically a cheesy alien movie from the 70's). The movie title stepped into my mind (probably since this is all strange and forigen to me) and I took it from there. I'm not completely sure how I will use this space, but I'm sure whatever direction I take it it will evolve into something else. I guess that's how life is. Mine is no exception. I am not the same person I was 9 months ago much less a whole year. I have grown so much in the last couple of years and my priorities have changed. I'm now a homeowner (even though I have yet to move in) and watching way too much HGTV. I have a budget. I get excited about saving and paying my way to financial freedom. I get my hair done every 7 weeks as opposed to my every 5 weeks (and for those of you who were born naturally blonde but now that you've aged you aren't anymore but still want to be, know that's a long time to go without some highlights). Overall I appreciate everything I have more, and instead of dwelling on what I don't I look forward to having it someday! I'm looking forward to all the turns my life is going to take this year and hopefully this blog will help me share it all with you.

Just a blonde's take
Bridget